How long has it been? Too long, I know.

Sorry for the delay. It’s been a long few months and I’ve been busy with work and out of town.

Anyways, this inauguration thing is coming up. Bound to be crazy, right?

Metro manager Catoe says it’s going to be “Metro’s most challenging day.”

Metro should just make everyone buy an inaugural pass that costs $20. And have that be the only valid way to ride the metro on January 20. Obviously, there should be an exception for SmartBenefits recipients so that all the feds can get to work.

THEORY: I’ve been noticing that when waiting for a train, passengers tend to meander around the platform like pigeons. And when the train is pulling in to the station, they tend to go hyperactive. Making it nearly impossible for a passenger to navigate the platform and get further down to board the train. Why? People are bad with spatial judgement of where their doors are going to open. If you walk near pigeons, nothing happens. But if you run like a half back, the pigeons scatter. I’ve found that this postulate works nicely. If you need to get down the platform but people are walking around aimlessly. Start sprinting. Immediately. People will flip their shit.  Try it. But make sure you can turn on a dime, halfbacks can’t hit people. And people don’t like getting bumped into. If they can’t stand in an orderly manner on the platform anyway, fuck them.

When you thought Metro could do no worse…

(Full Story)

WASHINGTON - A Metro station manager and a Metro custodian were arrested on prostitution charges after an undercover transit police investigation found they arranged sexual trysts for money from inside the Dupont Circle Metro station.

At one point the employees used the Metro loudspeaker system to facilitate an illicit sexual arrangement, according to police who arrested the pair last week.

Sharon Waters, a Red Line station manager, told an undercover police officer at the Dupont Circle station June 4 that she could arrange meetings with local prostitutes for him, according to court documents.

The officer returned to the station at 11:45 p.m. June 11 and met with Waters, who told him she was organizing a “sex” party in the Washington area for a $100 cover charge, court records show.

Waters said she also could arrange for another, unidentified Metro station manager to meet the officer for sex, but that she couldn’t find her at that time, according to the affidavit.

Waters then used the Metro loudspeaker system to page Pam Goins, a Metro custodian who Waters said would be interested, and the officer and Waters went to the Farragut North Metro station to meet her, according to the documents.

In reading this letter on the commute this morning, I almost shat my pants.