Has anyone else heard this?

It goes a little something like this.

“Hi. Welcome to Metro. We have a lot of escalators in our system. You’ll notice that most people stand on the right side. And while you’re riding, hold the handrail for your safety. Enjoy your trip, and thank you for riding Metro.”

Apparently, WaPo did a story on it last year. Oops.

Anyway, this little blurb got me thinking. What if it were said in the mindset of an angry commuter on a Monday morning?

In that case, it’d go something like this.

“Hi. Welcome to Metro. We have a lot of escalators in our system. You’ll notice that most people stand on the right side. If you’re not walking on the left side, you’ll probably get stabbed or thrown over the side of the escalator. Thanks for visiting Washington!”

NOTE: You can listen to the ads, here.