After seeing the doors to the Orange Line train open and shut no less than four times at a particular stop, any frequent Metro customer knows what’s coming down the tracks. “Customers, this train is out of service, this train is out of service. We will offload at this time.” This phrase, followed by the groans and muddled cursing of Metro passengers of all ages, walks, and backgrounds, fills the air of the crowded platform moments later. An unwelcome situation no doubt, however, many passengers experienced such inconveniences only rarely.

Not this year, my friends. The Metro has outdone itself in 2007. Remarkable delays, untold offboarded trains for no discernable reason, sick passengers galore, and a fire in Union Station highlight the depths to which the DC Metro system has sunk. Its poor performance, often lower than the depths of its tunnels, has become the norm and customers now factor these inconveniences into their daily schedules.

The two lines I frequent daily, Orange and Red, have managed to make me late to work for over a week straight. I have offboarded two days in a row from the Orange line, the Red Line is so screwed up they had both trains moving in the same direction last week while making passengers switch sides of the platform! As you may have guessed, all those passengers who were told to switch sides were immediately dismayed by a reversal of this decision once completed. All told I spent 30 minutes of my life in Metro Center I’ll never get back. Today, a coworker of mine stood in Metro Center for 10 minutes and did not see a single train pass through in either direction.

So, if you’ve boarded the train this morning and were fortunate to get there early and find a seat, don’t get too comfortable. Who knows what untold evils await you at the next station, tunnel, or transfer. At this point in my Metro career, I am baffled as to how they can still refer to fare cards as SmartTrip. Simply astounding, Metro. Simply astounding.