A submitted story!

July 26th, 2007

The following story was sent as a submission for the blog, and it is great. If you have a story, drop us a line at
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Yesterday evening on my way home from a long day at work, I am as usual scrambling to get on the metro.

You were there, and gave me a look. Not the usual huffy “get out of my way look.”

Not the look of “I think I’ll mentally undress you.”

Nor was it the look of a lost tourist trying to decide if you’re a nice person and a ‘local’ who will give them honest directions, instead of the last jerk who sent them way out to Largo for shits and giggles.

No. I didn’t recognize this look, but if I had, I would have immediately retreated, offered the seat to someone else, and stood the entire ride to King Street. If only I had known.

What a surprise it was then when I sat down, elated to have gotten the only open seat, but quickly realizing that the reason you gave me that look, was that I SAT IN YOUR FART. Your fresh fart, still warm and really gross and smelly. It was by far one of the grossest experiences of my life.

To you metro farter, I hate you.

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Take your kids where they’ve never been before!

July 11th, 2007

I was riding the train when I saw this ad. I just couldn’t help but think about all of the possible conclusions where people have never taken their children before on metro.
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So I decided to get creative…

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Metro is PFC (pretty fucking crowded).

July 6th, 2007

Did you hear metro ridership hit an all time high in June? I know because I was on the metro and it was fucking crowded.

This conversation took place on the 38B from Georgetown to Ballston. If you’ve ever taken this bus, or any bus like it, at 11:00PM at night you know what’s up.

It’s like riding a bus with half of a Guatemalan village. Except for seeing the third world outside, you get to see coked out anorexics falling down in the street outside of Smith Point.

Awesome.

Anyways, on this magical bus ride, the bolded quote above was blurted out.

It got me thinking. In my months here, has Metro become more crowded? I’d say that it has.

If we can’t trust Metro to get the PIDS (point of information displays) correctly, how can we trust them to alleviate this problem. Answer is; we can’t.

I rode on one of the new cars the other day. It had cameras! I laughed. If Metro can’t tell us which train is coming next, how can we trust them to keep us safe?

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